Charlie Brown, the Yorkshire Terrier with a 'tude, is back with another installment. He emailed earlier today and asked me to pass this on. Enjoy!
Today was almost a day to remember forever. I got loose!!! Out of the house and NO ONE knew it. My lady Briggie didn’t know it; she left for town. Chief, the guy I trained to feed me, was at work. Ho ho. I am loose!!
Last week when Nephew Zander and Niece Mikki were here, I took them walking up the road. We went up to where the emus live. Emus are really big chickens, with drumsticks (yum) about 3 feet long. So I tootled on out the driveway, carefully skirting the Miller's house so they wouldn’t see me, and headed up 122nd Avenue. I made it ½ mile from home.
I didn’t know it, but that green pickup truck guy, Marty, saw me and started the “Charlie Alert” procedure, which resulted in sirens all over the neighborhood. Neighbors called neighbors, they called Chief at work..had I known, I could have avoided the dragnet, and got some good eatin'.
Anyway, I made it up to emu country and looked for a way through their fence…"This is gonna be tough," I thought to myself. Emus are tough on coyotes, but I am a lot meaner and hungrier than any coyote. But this fence is really tight.
"What was that..on the other side of the road??"
"There it was again…better check it out, might be cows… Holy catfish, it's them Scottish Highlander cattle! 2700 pounds of burger on the hoof!! This calls for a different tactic than that for elk. These guys can't really run, so I can't grab 'em by the nose and get them to run in a circle, stop and they break their neck. Nope. Hmm. I think I need help. There’s a lab dog….he can help….he lives here….how do I persuade him to chase 'em in circles 'till they are tired. Then I drop the hammer on one."
But then, the Goddess of Calamity befell me. The Charlie Alert Dragnet had worked… on the road here comes the rescue cavalry, its Briggie and Linda the neighbor lady…rattling dog food cans, bouncing my favorite basket ball, and whistling like Chief!
I was a yo yo on a string, pulled by this inexplicable force, when they collared me and took me home. But there will be another day, and those big cattle will be even bigger then.